Juni Cortez dishes out unusual advice to peers

Juni Cortez dishes out unusual advice to peers

By Nicole Malament

In my four years at CHS, I have learned many lessons, most of which have nothing to do with school. Here’s a list of tips that I’ve compiled over the years to help you in an awkward situation, get out of class, make projects easier and bother annoying people.

1. Tripping on the staircase

I honestly cannot count the number of times that I have tripped in front an entire hallway filled with people. Not just a little slip, I’m talking falling down the staircase in front of half the school. This situation is not uncommon for me; in fact, it happened last week. If, in the unfortunate case that you do fall in front of the hallway crowd, simply brush it off and laugh. It is way less awkward if you can laugh at yourself instead of cowering as I did after my first couple falls.

2. Start writing your own notes ASAP

Seriously, I cannot stress this enough. When you’re a senior and desperate to leave school early, which will happen at least every Friday, you will probably have to turn in your own note. What you may not know is that if your note looks suspicious in any way, Mrs. Feldman will compare them to previous notes that you have turned in. Lucky for me, I’ve been writing my own notes since the sixth grade. The sooner you start, the more often you can leave without your mom being called.

3. Make friends with the librarians

Everyone jokes about how catching a break in the library is like attempting Mission Impossible. Yes, the librarians are extremely strict and maybe a bit crazy, but I have cracked the code: don’t put up a fight and be super polite. Also, greet them anytime you see them in your most friendly voice that you usually reserve for meeting your friend’s parents. Eventually, they will start to recognize you and be way more lenient. Then, when you need help, they’ll happily do your entire bibliography for you. True story.

4. Agree with the “Humble Braggers”

You deal with these people on a daily basis. These are the people who try to come off as modest and sympathetic, but they’re really just dying for you to know their latest achievements. The conversation goes as follows:

Bragger: “I’m so stressed, I was up all night.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that sucks!” (Please note that it is not in my nature to be sympathetic at all, I’m just trying to be polite)

Bragger: “Yeah, it’s just that I have three tests today, and my parents insisted on taking me out last night to celebrate my leading the (insert sport here) team to counties. You’re so lucky that you take such easy classes.”

You see, they’re probably doing just fine and just trying to make you feel inferior. To really annoy them, just agree with them.

Me: “That really sucks! While you were studying all night, I caught up on my DVR and worked out at the gym.”

Not only did you not acknowledge how smart they are, but now you’ve made them jealous of how much less boring your life is than theirs.

5. Reuse paper

While I appreciate the gesture, teachers print way too many notes for us. More than half of the papers that I receive are unnecessary. In fact, the only teacher who hands out a sensible amount of paper is Mr. Kraus. Teachers do not need to make copies of an article for the whole class if we’re just going to read it for two minutes. They should just put on the Promethean board for everyone to read. To counteract some of the environmental stress that we create, I’ve taken the liberty of solely printing on the backs of used paper. The rough draft of this article was printed on last month’s math quiz and all my English essays are printed on ACT practice tests. It’s one little thing that we can do.

I have had a great four years at CHS, and I wouldn’t change them for the world. So just remember; laugh at the little things, befriend librarians, get out of class early and ignore the obnoxious. You may as well save a tree while you’re at it.