We here at the Observer have been trying to find a way to best commemorate the best football team of our high school careers. Our initial plan was to produce a full-length feature film entitled “Remember the Bulldogs,” but unfortunately the Observer’s funds were tied up in other ventures. We couldn’t think of anything better, so now we present to you the original casting of “Remember the Bulldogs.” Enjoy.
| Player | Actor | Why this actor? |
| Alex Kantor | Joe Namath circa 1965 | The quarterback pedigree is obvious, and Namath’s famous leadership skills are a perfect fit for the Bulldog’s captain and quarterback. Namath also did have a long, if slightly forgettable, acting career. |
| Ryan Quinn | Matt Damon | Damon’s team-first attitude in Saving Private Ryan and his cold-blooded killer mentality in the Bourne movies make Damon a perfect fit for Quinn’s strong, silent demeanor. |
| Brandon Swepson | Samuel L Jackson | Picture this: “I’ve had it with these [expletive] Wootton Patriots on this [expletive] field!” |
| Danial Dadkhoo | The Great Khali | A massive and dominating presence in the ring, he would capture Dadkhoo’s intensity and relentless will to succeed. |
| Brett Schweitzer | Seth Rogen | Every football movie needs its comic relief character, sorry Brett. |
| Bryan Crutchfield | Adrien Brody | Come on, they look exactly the same! |
| Coach Joe Allen | Josh McDaniels | The Broncos’ head coach brings Allen’s passion and energy to games. Did you see Coach Allen celebrating after the Wootton game? Perfect McDaniels impression. |
| Kaijie Zheng | Shan Yu from Mulan | Ruthless and intimidating, Shan Yu embodies Zheng’s total domination of opposing defensive linemen. |
| Jonathan “Big John” Milbourn | John Goodman | Size is definitely a factor here, though we’ve seen Goodman bring some intensity to his roles, just like Milbourn brings to every game. |
| Jeremy Bernitt | Ryan Hurst (Gerry Bertier from Remember The Titans) | Our only conflict with the inspiration for this story. We just couldn’t make a football movie without this guy. Come on, without Hurst, who would do the “LEFT SIDE!” scene? |
| Nader Toosi | Tom Cruise | Cruise’s enthusiasm in acting matches this return specialist and defensive back’s excitement on the field. |
| Bobby Hirsch | George Clooney | We know what you’re thinking, but this is Bobby Hirsch we’re talking about. BOBBY HIRSCH! |
| Matt Cole | John Krasinski | They’re both tall… |
| Matt Risk | Burt Reynolds | Reynold’s was actually a football star in his high school years. Plus, imagine Risk with a moustache; perfect, I know. |
| Nick Hughes | Taylor Lautner | Nick loves to rock the wolfman look, just check out his Facebook pics. Plus, 13-year-old girls love him. |
Story continues below advertisement
