There comes a time in every man’s life when he must learn the few, yet essential rules of bathroom etiquette. For most of us, this time has already passed, and we have learned to play the game correctly, but still some of us continue to push the boundaries. For those few, here’s a refresher course.

There are four unbreakable rules that all men must follow when using the restroom.

Rule Number One: Don’t ever use the urinal next to one that is occupied or in use. I know many males have fallen victim to this situation, but it’s common courtesy, as using the urinal next to someone who’s already engaged is just plain awkward. It causes the said person unfair discomfort when he has already established urinal use and is unable to escape. He has to worry about the guy next to him invading his privacy, not physically, but in that creepy way we all hate. The bottom line is, it’s obnoxious and uncomfortable. Don’t do it.

Rule Number Two: Flush or die. I’m positive that every man has, at least once in their life, gone into a stall only to find the leftovers from another man’s dinner in the toilet and a smell we know all too well. Please flush. Are you really in that much of a hurry that you can’t simply hit the handle when your business is done? No one in his or her (to be Politically Correct) right mind would want to be enveloped by the stench that you leave behind.

Rule Number Three: Don’t look up while urinating; it decreases accuracy. The worst thing to ever happen to someone is to walk into a bathroom only to find that you have stepped in a puddle of yellow liquid. It’s less than ideal to walk around the whole day with squeaky and sticky shoes. Also, the puddle of pee bears the risk of students slipping, falling and inevitably getting hurt. So while in the bathroom, please look down and pretend there’s a target within the urinal or stall. Aim for the bull’s eye for everyone’s sake.

Rule Number Four: Don’t make any noise while using the toilet. Recently, I experienced one of the most awkward situations of my life while using the bathroom. I walked in the stall, and everything was fine, until I heard this one guy shout “Jesus Cristo!” constantly, as if no one was around. He then proceeded to moan and groan, and I quickly ran out of the bathroom, weirded out of my mind. For your own reputation and to avoid becoming a convicted sex offender, please don’t be that guy. Think about innocent freshman who will be forever scarred by this bathroom experience.

These rules barely scrape the surface of bathroom etiquette, but just remember that anything that might make someone uncomfortable is a no-no when using the bathroom. Take these rules to heart, because honestly, CHS’s bathroom etiquette is seriously lacking.